If you had received divorce papers in the mail and custody arrangements of you child is up in the air, you will most likely want to do whatever possible in making the right choice for your child in who they stay with after the divorce goes through. Often, mediation is recommended to help make plans for custody and visitation in the interim. Here is a rundown of how mediation works in an attempt to ease your mind that your child will be transitioned into a schedule to see each parent separately. 

Speak With Your Attorney

Your divorce attorney or the judge handling your divorce will probably request a mediation session regarding your child's well-being. It is best to adhere to this request and go through with the process as it will look favorable that you had complied when it comes to the actual custody hearing. It is also best for your child as you may be able to work out a tolerable arrangement that both parties can live with while waiting for the final determination regarding custody.

Some people go to a mediation session without their attorneys, but others would rather their attorney was present to handle the negotiations. Ask your lawyer for their recommendation. You can always have them sit in a waiting area at the mediation session in case negotiations with your spouse are not going to your liking. They can then jump in and try making deals that would work in your favor.

Make An Offer

Tell the mediator what your ideal solution would be regarding custody. If you want full custody of your child, you can tell them this but you must be aware that you may get retaliation from your spouse. It is best to offer a fair agreement regarding visitation unless you feel your child is at risk for abuse when with your spouse. Think about how your child would feel when negotiating as well. You will want them to still be able to spend a fair amount of time with the other parent while waiting for the actual custody hearing.

Negotiate Terms

Your offer will be given to your spouse. You will also be given their request regarding custody arrangements. Once both sets of requests are made public knowledge, the mediator will make slight alterations to make the request fair for each party. They will then ask each party if they would agree to these alterations. It may take several changes before both parties come to an agreement.

Keep in mind during these negotiations that after you agree, a document will be signed and you must adhere to the terms specifically. If you fail to do this, you may be arrested for failing to allow the other party their fair time with their child. Do not sign the documentation until you are positive you will be able to live with the terms specified. In many cases, the temporary custody arrangements will remain the same after the custody hearing if it works well for the child. Keep this in mind as well.